OUR minds are such wonderful things, aren’t they? They are supposed to be.

So why is it that the majority of us struggle with our mental health? I definitely do, and I have since I was 11 years old. I have been in and out of counselling all that time and none of it has helped or at least maybe all that time I wasn’t open or receptive enough to it.

It’s not anyone else we ever have to worry about, it’s ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. I have to admit, my mental health has gotten worse over a period of time, but the last few weeks has got me incredibly worried.

It’s making me ill. I feel like I have a ball of stress in my gut and my head is about to explode or my heart will start having palpitations. I’m worried some days that I feel so ill with it that I’ll just collapse. I get to the point some days where I literally cannot take anymore noise or confusion because I’m so over stimulated.

It’s not that I have so much going on that stresses me out. I like being busy but it’s a mixture of the lack of acknowledgement and effort and feeling so frustrated with where I am at the moment. I hate not moving forwards or achieving and it upsets me when anything is stagnant or doesn’t change. That’s where it’s a catch 22.

I know that on the most part it’s up to me to change it, but because of how I’m feeling I don’t have the energy or the physical health capacity to do any of it. I love irony and I love that if I did make the effort, if i did get up, I can break it, I can beat it again and I can grow. I can start achieving and feeling good.

First things first, contact the doctor. Second, book myself in to socialise and do exercise at the gym I work at. Get my hair cut, dye it and make dates to see friends.

Contact a counsellor to talk stuff through because it’s not healthy to talk at my husband about all my problems and nothing ever changes.

Thirdly, acknowledge and accept that sometimes it won’t happen and that it is ok.

Just do your best in life, it’s all well and good trying to be the best version of yourself but what happens when life does?! Don’t make yourself feel bad or give up. 

Jolene Wilson, Weston Mum.