THAT'S it now, I’ve decided. I have come to the realisation that as mums it comes with the territory to feel undervalued, overstimulated and under appreciated.

Then you feel guilty about feeling that way. I’m feeling like this because I plan everything to within an inch of its life to make sure the boys have a magical childhood and all the experiences that come with it, but through constantly working hard to plan and organise these things I get no thanks, no appreciation and it just seems like I’m doing everything wrong lately and I’ve felt like this for some time.

My kids expect greatness because that’s what they are used to, my own fault I guess. We have brought them up with manners and to everyone else my eldest is respectful, kind, courteous and the perfect child, but me?!

I get all the hitting, the attitude and all the horrible things whilst my husband gets all the cuddles. How on earth is that fair? He gets to go to work and have adult conversations while I’m getting treated like a snack holder, chef, cleaner, baker and lunch bag?!

And I grew them. I grew them. I gave them life. My eldest almost killed me and here I am, slave to them. I don’t mind bending over backwards in the times that they are nice to me but lately that’s rare and I have got a headache! The kind that is not going away.

My nerves are shot, I’m incredibly anxious and I’m shouting a lot more than I’d like and I’m not even due on my period. You find yourself saying the same thing over and over again in so many different ways that by the end of it you wonder if:

1. You’re invisible. 

2. They’ve gone deaf.

3. You are in fact speaking French all before realising that they are actually just not listening. At all. Not even a little bit.

I don’t know who they think we are really, because I’m pretty sure if they thought we were superheroes then they wouldn’t hit us or treat us the way they do. What do they expect us to do in the car whilst we are driving and they are asking for help? Put the car in cruise control and climb in the back to answer to their every whim?

Then straight away come the next 5-10 things they want and/or need that we then have to remember whilst driving, whilst singing along to bloody Blippi and whilst thinking through the complexities of all the new and current demands!

If I hear ‘Choo choo here comes the train’ one more time I’m going to quit! There are days that I regret having kids, and that should be a feeling that is normalised. It’s testing and exhausting much more mentally than physically, but then I do love them very much.

Besides, what would I do with all that free time? Gentle parenting is great and it’s what we all want. But listen, it’s not real is it? Who the hell do you know that does it, it works and it’s tried and tested that the kids not ended up a total k*** to his peers?

I’m not saying shouting or harsh discipline either, but consequences to actions and decisions. Trying to keep up with all the things you should and shouldn’t do for all the categories you fill is absolutely exhausting and it’s no wonder there is such an issue with mental health.

All we can do is our best and try to give ourselves a break, isn’t it? Otherwise, what’s the alternative? 

Jolene Wilson, Weston Mum.