5.30am: I no longer need an alarm. Usually I would enjoy hearing the birds song to me but they are quieter today.

First coffee of the day and somehow it is not hot. 

6.20: Husband comes to use downstairs loo for 20 minutes.

Boys wake up obviously!

6.30: Need to change youngest’s nappy but runs away so spend 10 minutes chasing him. 

Boys want to play in their bedroom so I get a HOT coffee. Decaf this time.

Open curtains and everything flies off windowsill and attacks me. Good, that's an indicator of the day ahead, I can just feel it my bones! 

I can't voice it though because that's projecting it into the universe and being negative so therefore will want it to happen. 

What about when I need to talk about my bad day? What do I do then?

7.15: Go downstairs for breakfast and so I can have some pain killers. I have another burst cyst which feels delightful. 

Breakfast given.

Youngest decided that cereal was not acceptable and tipped it onto untreated wooden floor with cracks in it. 

7.45: Get ready for work, can't get my leggings on and get my foot stuck. Fall over and hit my head on the snack drawer the boys left open! 

8am: Chase youngest around the house to change nappy AGAIN, he has done a massive poo and it stinks...because I'm in so much pain and because I am still nursing my pain killer, I am sick.

Still chasing. I'll clean it in a second. 

Great, got sick in my hair and I have to go to work and take the boys with me. I am a mess.

9am: Get boys in the car which husband moved onto road which is a pain in my ass. Need to take cupcakes for members and staff. 

Start driving and forget cupcakes.

Dammit!

Reverse all the way back to get them. 

I stink of sweat and sick now. Lovely. 

9.15: Get to work and set up for the class. 

Any injuries. No.

Safety information given.

Apologise for attention on kids. 

Written work out down.

Make sure they have drinks, kids and members, yes. 

Me, no.

Class went as ok as it could with kids. Until 10 minutes til the end! 

My eldest announced he needed a poo and when on the toilet shouted for me to wipe his bum.

I was in there for five minutes, it's a small toilet so he had his head down the loo whilst I was trying to wipe his bottom all the while my youngest trying to come in and see what was going on. 

Youngest then decided to not only throw chalk across the gym but to post his cars in the box. The workout wooden box that has no opening apart from the handle holes. 

He then proceeded to have yet another stinky poo. Breathe…

Once everyone had said their goodbyes (probably forever to me) I clean bums and attempted to clean-up my kids mess. 

The hoover has changed, it's different. I get it out anyway. 

IT DOESNT HAVE AN ATTATCHMENT! 

What am I going to do now? 

The kids are running around bursting to leave and there is chaos all over the gym. So I have to message one of the bosses, great. Now he's going to know how incapable I am at being a person! 

11am: Leave the gym and go to Asda for weekly shop. I still haven't eaten or drank any water yet. 

Boys are actually very good whilst shopping. Eating £30 worth of food probably had something to do with it.

Had to park out the way at the furthest point because the whole of Weston is shopping today and there are no family spaces at all. 

The rest of the day went pretty much the same. As you can imagine it was…challenging.

Get me wine!

Jolene Wilson, Weston Mum.