HOW are you feeling about your child ending the school year? How are you feeling about having them home for six weeks?

I'm feeling both anxious and excited for both. My eldest is ready to move up and is excited although upset because he won't be in the same class as his ‘best friend’ but given that everyone is his best friend, I am sure he will be fine.

He has loved being in reception. He's the eldest so he turns 6 in September, so he is definitely ready. I'm glad he was born on the cusp because I definitely was not ready when he was 4 to send him to school and the idea of him going to year 2 had he started then is astounding!

So I'm soaking it all in. Year 1 here we come. I've got all his uniform, shoes, trainers and Wellington boots. I've bought his new water bottle and backpack so I'm prepared in that sense. I'm just not ready for my biggest baby to turn 6 and go up a year. No matter how many times I sat it. 

In terms of spending ALL. MY. TIME with him in the summer, I'm looking forward to all the funny things he says but not so much the ‘I absolutely must-have fresh, cold water from the fridge’ everytime his cup or bottle needs filling up. I'm not looking forward to the constant attitude that comes from being my child and copying me! Or everytime he has a poo, presenting his chocolate covered sphincter to me to wipe squeaky clean.

 I am however, looking forward to the stories that take half an hour because he has to go over the same point over and over agan or start from the beginning because ‘he mixed it up’. I'm looking forward to the fun screams. You know the ones when they can't contain their excitement and let out a laugh that translates as a scream.

I'm looking forward to taking them to work with me, I have no one to look after them. Another thing of how cool The Hangar is, some of the members have the same issue.

I'm looking forward to my eldest being a lovely host. He is so aware of others and how they are feeling, and their needs. I can just see him asking everyone if they'd like a cookie or a drink whilst their holding plank! He's so polite and so kind.

When he has those moments I feel I've done a great job, not so much when he is throwing his water bottle down the stairs at 6am screaming at the top of his lungs because his younger brother had the insane audacity to look at a car that may or may not be his! I find it incredibly taxing to comprehend what is exactly going on when I haven't even smelt any coffee yet! 

I'm looking forward to the bakes we create together, he has a doughnut design in mind that he wants to make together and he eats. I'm looking forward to all the brotherly love, holding hands, dancing and singing. But not the wrestling, noise and the fights!

I'm looking forward to all the fun family things we are going to do, live music, BBQ’s, parties, walks and days out and of course, bush wee’s. I'm not looking forward to the nature poo’s though, pitting them in a crisp bag because I've forgotten a poo bag! I'm looking forward strawberry picking and blackberry picking and making smoothies, slishies and bakes with them. 

I asked my husband the same question. And the things he is not looking forward to, is quite frankly, me. Because he deals with the aftermath of the tantrums and the fallout that comes with a whole day of constant fighting, bickering and arguing. He had no idea how tough it is until one Saturday he was enlightened to how bad our eldest could get. I followed the guidelines of my parenting course and I can say after that, that he disagreed with the method. Where does that leave me?

So now moving forwards I'm confused and I honestly do not know how I am going to deal with the tough situations when I have spent the last 14 weeks working really hard all for it all to be disbarred. Great. I'm not looking forward to him either, the condesending calmness and his ability to diffuse any situation making me feel like a pure and utter failure! He doesn't mean to obviously and that is never his intention but I feel like the third child. He says it's sometimes like he has a third child. So where do I stand?! 

Most of all I'm looking forward to making some amazing childhood memories for them, as well as, of course the cuddles that I don't get to have whilst they are in school and pre school even if it is just one more. 

Attached picture is when I was playing with them and they both teamed up like a pair of raptors and took me down, keeping me down!

Who's idea was this again?

Jolene Wilson, Weston mum.